brokeness

being broken is not easy knowing the whole makes heavy my search tourned into despair the occasional relief is colourless there is no fire which would burn me down there is no power which would lift me up I am in me wihtout mysef I am with me without myself everywhere I am overshadowed by my thoughts everywhere I am overwhelmed by all my sins only a deeper sense of deep with a clearer sense of something my search even more is turning into a real despair the occasional relief is less and less colourless there is no place where I would find peace there is no man who could give me anything me in me just me and me only with a dirty kiss on my lips by the fear I can no longer walk further like that I can no longer live any more like that and I don't want but I don't want now I know only one thing that I don't want to go home as I came here I don't know what is there but I take one step towards it did you meet with Him? did He meet with you? when he came into your despiar and created a window through which you saw the Creator